leave your inhibitions at the door
Yo! I don’t have any special posts planned for Valentine’s Day, so enjoy this one from last year. Why don’t I have anything planned? I’m glad you asked…
Are you ready for Valentine’s Day? You’d think with a blog named “The Food and Wine Hedonist” I’d be all over this shit, but I’m not. I used to be, but not since I met Boom Boom. Pre-Boom Boom, I did it all – flowers, chocolates, romantic dinner, getaways. I’d plan out every single detail for whole evenings or weekends as a way to show how I truly felt. Or at least to get lucky. Call me a romantic.
But Boom Boom has always hated Valentine’s Day and our first few together resulted in my finding out the hard way all the other things that she hates. Big boxes of chocolate? Nope, she’d have to go run a marathon to get rid of the calorie guilt. A dozen roses? Absolutely detests them. I tried to figure out whether it was a traumatic experience in childhood with school valentines or something with a dickhead ex-boyfriend. But any questions I asked were answered with something along the lines of “I just don’t like it”.
Then it hit me – I’ve struck GOLD! I could easily pocket all that romance money and buy some golf clubs or power tools. You know, to make up for the fact that I’m not going to get any gifts on Valentine’s Day from her. But I’m also now free of the pressure that many of you gents feel to have to come up with that perfect gift. The one that will make her forget about last year’s microwave oven or drilldo.
I came soooo close to posting one of the many awesome pictures I found of drilldos. You’ll just have to Google it. I suggest typing in “drilldo+tranny”.
A few years ago, a friend and I had this idea of putting together a bunch of instructional videos called “Cooking to Score”. The concept was to have a bunch of simple, sure-fire recipes that any guy can do so that they can get some “action”. (And by “action”, I mean “fucking”. Just want to make sure that’s clear.)
UPDATE: Cooking to Score is here!
We never got around to it and I’ve been approached many times for some suggestions. While I try to dig up a recipe, this week’s Guilty Pleasure provides some other relevant advice…