The Food and Wine Hedonist

leave your inhibitions at the door

The Last Two Weeks…

Miss me?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.  It’s been two weeks since my last post and that’s easily the longest stretch of inactivity here.  It’s funny, I always see other bloggers apologize for having long gaps on their site and always thought it silly.  But now that I’ve done it, I understand what they went through.  I really feel the need to apologize …

to…

to…

to post a picture of Lindsay Lohan.

Lilo Wallibscom

That felt better.

The First Week

The two weeks of silence was only partly planned.  We took a trip down to Dominican Republic for the week of Thanksgiving and I intentionally took a break – my first in 2.5 years.  I needed it.  I can’t guarantee that my writing’s going to be any better, but I can guarantee that I’m going to think about writing more better.

So how was Dominican Republic?

We stayed at Ocean Blue, one of those mega-sized all-inclusive places.  You know, the ones with multiple pools, swim-up bars, big beach, huge buffets, and free drinks.  I’ve been to a few of these types of places and they aren’t really  my first choice in vacations.  The food is only so-so and the drinks seem to be watered-down.  But when you’re traveling with more than just your family (in this case there were 13 of us), it’s a helluva lot easier coordinating dinner plans and there’s always something for everyone to do.

Here are some pictures.

ff

Sorry, no thong shots of me, but there were plenty of Europeans there.

DR Beach

Sh!tshow peeing in the ocean

Sh!tshow peeing in the ocean

Our Thanksgiving turkey

Our Thanksgiving turkey

New game played at EVERY meal - guess the crepe ingredient

New game played at EVERY meal – “Guess the crepe filling”

Fish fry by the pool.  I think it was grouper. Or maybe snapper.  Either way, it was fantastic right out of the fryer.

Fish fry by the pool. I think it was grouper. Or maybe snapper. Either way, it was fantastic right out of the fryer.

Me twerking.

Me twerking.

Mini-me showing what he thinks of the 5-0.

Mini-me showing what he thinks of the 5-0.

Seeing dolphins while deep sea fishing

Seeing dolphins while deep sea fishing

My two bros hauling in fish at the same time

My two bros hauling in fish at the same time

TWO Mahi-Mahis.  Would that be “Mahi Mahi Mahi Mahi?”

TWO Mahi-Mahis. Would that be “Mahi Mahi Mahi Mahi?”

Yup, roast pig always finds me.

Yup, roast pig always finds me.

Living the dream – upgraded to first class on the way home

Living the dream – upgraded to first class on the way home

**

Would I recommend going to Ocean Blue or Dominican Republic?  Probably not.  All-inclusives always seem to have this “let’s get everybody partying” vibe and the staff goes out of their way to get you to participate in stupid games and other activities.  It gets really annoying, especially when you want to unlax.  Even if you’re down with all that, there are a lot of places in Mexico for about the same price.  The big difference is there are a lot more things to do off-property – ruins, towns, nature stuff, adventure excursions. And there is a wider-selection of resorts, some considerably more higher-end than others.  But I guess I can’t complain, this trip was free.

**

The Second Week

This is the part that was completely unplanned.  On the way home from the Dominican Republic, I got to take a tour of airport toilets in DR, Charlotte, and Detroit.   Some of them were visited more than once – you know, to make sure I got a good sample size.  Surprisingly, the one in DR was one of the cleanest.   Not surprisingly, it had the worst plumbing.  I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say that they didn’t flush well.  And people still used them because when you gotta go, you gotta go.  And all that toilet paper formed rafts so the poopies can stay out of the water.  Which makes them look almost as horrendously as they smell.

Sorry, when I said I’d spare you the details, I meant the details of MY many deposits.

That only lasted 2 days, but it overlapped with a nasty case of the flu.  I was completely knocked out in bed for 3 days.  I couldn’t even read blogs, let alone write one.  I’m still a little out of it but I’m back now, ready to get you that stirring, mature, thought-provoking content you’re used to.  Plus more pics of Lindsay.

Xx

How was your Thanksgiving? Have you been to Dominican Republic? Have you ever seen a toilet “raft?”

**

**

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About thefoodandwinehedonist

I don't know everything about the world of food and wine, but I'm not going to let a small detail like that stop me from blogging about it.

16 comments on “The Last Two Weeks…

  1. rachelocal
    December 10, 2013

    I’d rather read your toilet raft descriptions than see pics of Lindsay Lohan.

    Sorry to hear you were so sick! I noticed your absence and thought you were just taking a break. DR looks amazeballs. I just looked through a bunch of my pics from Key West (we went in February). The light and bright pops of color in that part of the world are just so stunning.

    Glad you’re back!

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      December 10, 2013

      Thanks!! DR was def nice, but I really want to go back to Tulum (south of Cancun). THAT place is amazeballs

      And I’ll forgive your LILO hating.

  2. PinotNinja
    December 10, 2013

    Oh good god — the only thing worse than intestinal distress is intestinal distress in foul public places. You would think that your body would hold it together until you got home to your nice cushy bathroom. Does it have no standards? Who does it think it is? Lindsay Lohan?

    And the twerking! You are a damn pro and definitely burned off all of the friend fish with those moves.

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      December 10, 2013

      Ugh! All the Lohan haters are coming out.

      And I’m one of those that can rarely go in public restrooms. Seriously all but one stall was fouled up. I almost went into the janitors mop bucket.

      If only there was a bidet…

  3. dwdirwin
    December 10, 2013

    Ah, that’s what you meant when you picked up a few illnesses- you weren’t kidding. We went one island east of Hispaniola this summer- Puerto Rico. It was great- all the beauty of the Caribbean with all the conveniences (good plumbing, less parasitic infection amongst other things) of the U.S.

  4. armchairsommelier
    December 10, 2013

    I’ve been to the DR . . . I got roped into a vacation at Club Med. It was meh. Tons of so-so food and like you said, watered down drinks. I took a bus into “town” one day so I could do some sightseeing & shopping, and the Club Med folks thought I was crazy. I would miss the pre-packaged fun . . . the GAMES!! Yuk. I hate icebreaker games. A trip to town will always trump games for me!

    And yes . . . I’ve seen a “toilet raft”. Right here in our Nation’s Capitol, USofA. Ever tried to use a temporary marathon toilet after the marathoners? Not pretty.

    Welcome back . . . and Salud!

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      December 10, 2013

      Thanks! When I did marathon years ago runners were doing it in bushes and flower beds in parks – had to make their times. But yeah I’ve seen nasty stuff at portables at outdoor music fests.

  5. ksbeth
    December 10, 2013

    well it looks pretty at least, but i know what you mean about the all inclusives, not the same quality and i do like to have more options, but a warm vacation none the less. sounds like you had to pay some sort of penance on your way back – glad you survived both and welcome back )

  6. wanderingglutton
    December 11, 2013

    Glad you are feeling better. At least you spared us photo documentation of the “rafts.”

  7. the drunken cyclist
    December 11, 2013

    Not much into beach-y vacations here, so I have nothing to add, but glad you are back at the keyboard!

  8. thewineraconteur
    December 11, 2013

    One more of your unique and charming dissertations on “wine” or “whine.” I am glad that most of your trip was enjoyable, when you are away like that, it is better to stick with wines and not even cocktails because even the ice in the drinks can cause the after affects that allowed us to know of your intimate critiques of airport facilities. We must try to have lunch one day, when you are back to full strength and can appreciate food and wine as only a hedonist may.

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      December 11, 2013

      Thanks! As u can expect, the house wines (=free) were not that great. Light Spanish Vino Tintos and whites. Most of their “premium” wines were everyday Chileans. Though I do admit they had a sparkling that was fun to drink. Nothing serious, but well-balanced.

  9. Pingback: Top Chef NOLA Episodes 9 & 10 | The Food and Wine Hedonist

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