The Food and Wine Hedonist

leave your inhibitions at the door

I Rule the Radio

It seems a lot of people are getting their music these days from internet-based music services like Spotify, Rhapsody, iTunes Radio, etc.  And it looks like satellite radio is still going strong as well.  I haven’t made the switch to either method yet but, when I do, you can rest assured that I’m going to be a major player in the industry.

Why?  Because yours truly happens to be THE kingmaker on regular radio.  Lemme ‘splain…

On the morning of December 13th, I posted this to my personal Facebook page

For past few weeks, construction workers in the house have a radio playing and switch off between classic rock station and the “we play everything” station. It’s discouraging that, as a society, there is still a market for radio stations that play Pat Benatar, Bob Seger, Boston, and Bad Company 20x a day.

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You know what I mean by those “we play anything” stations, right?  They started sprouting up about ten years ago and every city has one.  It’s usually called some generic guy’s name like “Jack,” “Phil,” or “Bob.”  In the Detroit area it was called “Doug FM” and had a super-annoying, smarmy voiceover guy saying “Doug FM, we play everything.”

And at quick-glance, they do play everything.  In addition to who I mentioned in my status update, they’d throw in acts like Aerosmith, Neil Diamond, Ace of Base, Hootie & The Blowfish, and Billy Ray Cyrus.  Pretty diverse, yes, but not everything.  Not that I would want to hear any of it, but they never played any classical, jazz, or Gregorian chants.   No showtunes.  No Tibetan Monk chants, either.  Oh – and zero rap and hip-hop.

That very night, I was driving around, flipping through channels.  I kept Doug on one of the presets because every once in a while there’d be something I was in the mood for.  I was expecting some tired, old Journey song but this time around it was a Christmas song.  Now, I can only take Christmas songs on the radio in small doses,  but I stayed til the end because I’d never heard this one.  I don’t recall what the song or who the artist was, but I can say I didn’t like it. But curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to find out what it was.

When it was finally over, the name of the song wasn’t announced.  But the station’s new tagline was

Nash-FM, Detroit’s new home for country-assed shit that John will never listen to.

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Or something like that.

So some time that day, the radio station executives came across my status update and said, “This guy’s brilliant.  We gotta change formats. And he’s damn handsome.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t mention what they should switch to.  Because country would’ve come a couple spots behind Epic Doom Metal and Kyrgyzstan horse-milking songs.

dreammakers.co

dreammakers.co

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But still ahead of jazz…

Thankfully, the construction guys aren’t into country so there are some songs I won’t be subjected to for a while. They aren’t necessarily bad and I don’t necessarily hate them like Innocent Miseries.  They’re just woefully overplayed.

I think I’ll call these “Songs That Should be Locked up for the Next 25 Years.”

Bob Seger’s Old Time Rock and Roll

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The B-52’s Love Shack

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Eric Clapton’s Tears in Heaven – (Which was mentioned by both Yinzerella and Max on my Innocent Miseries? post.)

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Do you have any songs you’d like to see put away for a long time?

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About thefoodandwinehedonist

I don't know everything about the world of food and wine, but I'm not going to let a small detail like that stop me from blogging about it.

20 comments on “I Rule the Radio

  1. Duff's Wines
    January 17, 2014

    Stairway To Heaven. There’s also an Aerosmith song that I can’t bear anymore from a movie, I believe. Put them in a can. Unfortunately, we have friends who bring their two pre-teen boys to our cottage and they love to dance to Bob Seger – so, that’s a keeper for us but we’ll keep the volume down.

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      January 17, 2014

      I think it’s “I Don’t want to miss a thing” form Armageddon? I actually think stations have been better with Stairway and with Rolling Stones’ Satisfaction. Though I wonder if Stairway is just too long of a song.

  2. the drunken cyclist
    January 17, 2014

    We have “Ben FM” here in Philly (real original–wonder where they came up with that?). When I lived in SF it was “Alice”. Sure they play “anything” but they really mean “anything we have lying around.” What they don’t tell you is they only have about 37 CDs and 12 of them are from Michael Jackson, Madonna, and Phil Collins.

    If you want a real “we play everything” station, go to FIP FM (you can stream it online). Sure, you have to put up with the French disc jockeys (the station is in Paris), but they will play Johnny Lee Hooker followed by Brahms, then some french pop and gangsta rap. They really play everything!

    As for my song to lock up–Would I lie to You and Sweet Dreams by the Eurythmics. Ugh.

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      January 17, 2014

      Oof. Those do need to be locked up.

      I thought the French only listened to Jerry Lewis clips. No?

  3. gabrieleneumann
    January 17, 2014

    It’s not a “classic rock jam”, but with the amount of “Sweet Home Alabama” it appropriates, it might as well be: “All Summer Long” by Kid Rock. HATE.

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      January 17, 2014

      Oh yeah! Especially here in Michigan since he’s from here and is singing about here. It’s going to be tough locking up any of his songs. Same with Seger and Eminem.

  4. Peggy Isaacs
    January 17, 2014

    She Drives Me Crazy – Fine Young Cannibals.

    Oy.

  5. $12 taste buds
    January 17, 2014

    Culture Club…please, lock up anything and everything by Culture Club.

  6. mrsugarbears
    January 17, 2014

    I am finally out of the radio game, except for XM radio in my car. I listen to Pandora at home-totally addicted. I gave it up after a regular road trip to the cottage and was amazed that “Delilah” was still sending out her seventies and eighties love songs, thirty years after I first remember hearing her. Same songs, same voice…it was spooky.

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      January 17, 2014

      I wonder if satellite is going to die off with Pandora, etc. People can stream through their phones and new cars are smart phone compatible. Thnks

  7. PinotNinja
    January 17, 2014

    I absolutely concur on Love Shack.

    Lady in Red also needs to be locked up. I recently walked off of a wedding dance floor in visible and utter disgust when that song came on — it was awkward when I made eye contact with the band’s lead singer but I don’t care. He should have known better.

    And anything by the Black Eyed Peas. Over it.

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      January 20, 2014

      Was thinking about weddings and that these could be allowable. But Lady in Red DEFINITELY needs to be buried, even for weddings. That and Celebration. Hopefully your message got through. I was singing at an Open Mic and this person gave me the stink eye for the song I chose. I almost cut it short.

      But the Peas… There’s such a backlash on them now, that I’m feeling kinda bad for them. But they were def overplayed. Still like My Humps…

  8. jjbiener
    January 18, 2014

    We need to take “I Will Survive” and put it in a box. Then we need to burn the box. Mix the ashes with salt. Then dump it into a very deep septic tank somewhere in rural Alabama.

  9. Max D
    January 19, 2014

    If I never hear Sweet Home Alabama ever again, I’ll be all right. And I’ve said this before: can FM stations play other Clash songs other than Rock the Casbah and Should I Stay or Should I Go? Even Train in Vain comes in at a distant third in terms of how frequently it’s played.

    I imagine these conversations go on for all radio station types: “If they play Beethoven’s Fifth one more time, I’m gonna puke.” Or, “I’d die a happy man if WEMU never played Ella Fitzgerald’s A-Tisket, A-Tasket again.”

  10. thefoodandwinehedonist
    January 20, 2014

    Train in Vain is easily one of my top 5 songs of all time. It’s played often, but not as much as those other two. But I do wonder what I’d think if it was played that often…

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This entry was posted on January 17, 2014 by in Ann Arbor, Music and tagged , , , , , , .
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