leave your inhibitions at the door
As much as I love summer and I’m impossibly miserable any time temperatures dip below 70F, I make an exception for the month of October. There’s a lot to like about the month – football, leaves changing colors, Halloween. And of course, TITS!
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, an annual campaign all over the world to increase awareness of the disease and raise funds for research into prevention, diagnosis, and cure. I personally don’t know anyone who’s had the disease, but other people I know certainly do. But I’m glad to do anything I can to help raise awareness to fight this terrible disease. Selfishly, it also gives me an opportunity to talk about KNOCKERS.
Outside of maybe melanoma, breast cancer is the most common form of cancer for women. But did you know that men can get it, too? It’s pretty rare ( a couple thousand new cases each year in the US) but, really, any type of cancer is serious enough to warrant attention. I’m surprised that there isn’t more as obesity rates increase and there are more men with manBOOBS.
BTW, that picture is my buddy Mojo’s chest. I don’t know if he or Mrs. Mojo is going to get pissed at me for posting this, so let’s throw in a plug for his show that debuts on HGTV next Friday. HEADLIGHTS. (Oops, that slipped out.)
The good news is that, depending on the stage of it and where you live, there’s a pretty decent survival rate. If it’s still in stage I, the five-year survival rate is 88% (www.cancer.org). Obviously, there are a lot of other factors involved but that’s enough to give people hope and the will to fight it. SWEATER MEAT. (Sorry, got carried away.)
The key is to detect it early. The current American Cancer Society recommendation is to have a clinical breast exam every three years for women under 40. However, you all know your GAZONGAS better than anyone else, so you should definitely self-examine whenever you CANS. You can also make it a collaborative effort as I’m sure there are many men or women – significant others, friends, or strangers – that would love to help you with that. (You’re welcome, gents.) Obviously, if there’s anything that doesn’t look or feel right, don’t hesitate to tell your doctor about it.
For women over 40, the recommendation is to have mammograms every year. Those are x-rays that are taken of the breast to detect any signs of cancer. I’ve never had one, but I understand they’re not very comfortable as the rooms are cold and it involves squishing the breasts between plates of glass. I realize it’s way more than inconvenient, but you owe it to your friends, family, loved ones, and any admirers of your COCONUTS. Most important, you owe it to yourself.
So, to inspire you to get your mammogram done, I present this week’s Guilty Pleasure from Sir Mix-a-Lot. It’s a little lesser known than his classic “Baby Got Back,”, but definitely just as FUNBAGS.