Presidents vs. Pro Wrestlers
I think you can categorize this post as “absolutely nothing to do with food, wine, music, or Lindsay Lohan.” Or as my wife, Boom Boom, would say – “further evidence that he has a steel trap memory for all the things that don’t matter.” Be prepared, I might scare you.
I was reading The Byronic Man’s terrific comic strip-style post on a one night visit to Winnemucca , NV. Among the many funny bits was his meeting with Haystacks Calhoun, the legendary mid-20th Century professional wrestler.
All he wanted was a hug. (notinhalloffame.com)
He was a literal mountain of a man – 600 lbs of – who wrestled in the 1950s-1960s. This was back in the day when brawling and brute strength took precedence over showmanship. Back when the flashiest thing about a wrestler was his nickname. The days before colorful costumes and makeup. When men like Dick the Bruiser ruled –
You want a hug? I’ll give you a hug… wikipedia.org
Don’t get me wrong, it was still fake. But it was a man’s fake. It was a bunch of wrestlers doing regional tours, fighting in places like the Marigold Bowling Alley in Chicago. Then in the 70s-80s, wrestling became more prevalent on television and we started seeing theatrics and storylines that spanned a television season like a soap opera.
If it sounds like I know wayyyy too much about professional wrestling, I really don’t. I watched a little growing up and in high school. But I had a college roommate who was really into it, so a little bit of it rubbed off on me. So I really just know a little too much about it, not wayyyy too much.
Anyway, we had a theory that the average guy could name more pro wrestlers than US presidents. We tested it with a lot of different guys and only very rarely were we proven wrong – even with high-falootin’ people who claimed they hated wrestling. We checked with friends, classmates, and even randoms in bars. We didn’t get very far with finding women who could name a lot of wrestlers, though. But then again we didn’t get far with any women at all with this wrestling talk.
Wait, wait, wait… I just realized something. I think The Ultimate Warrior is now a pop singer…
Ultimate Warrior from bustedcoverage.com, Ke$ha from justjared.com
I haven’t watched any wrestling since college and that was a long time ago, but I bet I can still do it. First, I’m going to embarrass myself by listing all the presidents I can recite without Googling.
I’m not even sure Ben Franklin was one, but last guy sure was. Now wrestlers –
I think I just proved that Boom Boom’s right – I’m a master of remembering useless information.
I don’t know if the theory holds up any more. I think wrestling’s popularity died down after the 1990s and now Mixed Martial Arts is all the rage. Add in the internet and video games, and I think there are a lot more things to distract guys now.
How many presidents or wrestlers can you name?
Oh shoot… I forgot about Ox Baker.
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19 comments on “Presidents vs. Pro Wrestlers”
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Doppel Member, Baby!
Pretty admirable job on the presidents, I must say….
You know, I thought about it a little more and I’m probably being hard on myself. Being able to list all the presidents from memory is pretty useless, too. At least wrestlers have funny nicknames
Ke$ha IS the Ultimate Warrior! Just like Xtina is Dee Snider.
I just want you to know, that upon reading your post, I laughed and snorted chai tea out of my nose.
Haha. Is that more soothing than snorting coffee out the nose? And Kesha is not Warrior’s daughter. I think she IS warrior. You’ll never see them in the same room. Plus, he was from Parts Unknown. So they may have some Benjamin Button thing going on there.
it certainly is. And now that you mention it, totally seems possible that Ke$sha/Warrior are experiencing a Benjamin Button life. I hope their is visual documentation going on. You could make post upon post about THAT!
LOL… you’re right. I’d pay to see that tag team match – Ke$ha and Ultimate vs Dee and Xtina.
That was about twice as many presidents as I can name.
I can understand why you remember so many wrestlers- how could a name like “jimmy superfly snooka” not be emblazoned on your memory?
More useless info – Jimmy Superfly Snooka was mentioned in Young MC’s “I Come Off.”
You definitely did not embarrass yourself with the presidents. I’m really good with the list (remembered 40 of the 43 before looking at your list when reading this), and you got two of the guys I always forget, Fillmore and Hayes. Although, not only was Ben Franklin never president, Alexander Hamilton wasn’t either.
Wrestlers definitely have the advantage, though, and I was happy to see one of my teenage years favorites on your list, King Kamala! But seriously, none of the Harts? No Brittish Bulldog Davey Boy Smith? Jake the Snake Roberts? Come on!
Shoot… forgot about them. Was that the Hart Foundation? Was Jimmy Hart part of that? Or was he just a manager???
Yep, the Hart Foundation. They had two of the best nicknames of the era, with Brett “The Hitman” Hart and Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart (who was married to Brett’s sister, btw). Jimmy Hart was their manager, but wasn’t related. Later Brett’s little brother Owen joined the group, but he never had a cool nickname, and was mostly after my time, but he was the one who died tragically, falling into the ring practicing an entrance stunt.
I love how Ke$ha does in fact look like the Ultimate Warrior. The resemblance is uncanny. Perhaps it’s his offspring? You certainly recited more presidents than I could. My brain must just be full of more use(less)ful shit.
Dammit… You forgot James Knox Polk who was president between…. Ummm…. 1876(?) And…. Umm…. Plus four years…. 1880(?) And was our illustrious (?) 12th (?) president. He was the non-philandering husband of Martha (sounds appropriate for the times). He had… Ummm…. Four, no six, no three, maybe two (?) children. Not one of which followed him into politics… Or history. Yeah, yeah, that’s the ticket. (Facts need verification.)
Nope, I got him under #33 – Some White Guy.
Well played, hedonist. Well played. (psst…He wasn’t white… Lol)
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Nice article about old time wrestling. But you forgot the Canadian wrestlers.
Abdullah the Butcher
Stephen Amell
Jason Anderson (wrestler)
John Anson
Fred Atkins
B
Ben Bassarab
Chris Benoit
Brute Bernard
Klondike Bill
Sinn Bodhi
Rick Bognar
Bob Boyer (wrestler)
Max Boyer
Dino Bravo
Tyler Breeze
Gino Brito
Farmer Brooks
Bulldog Bob Brown
Kerry Brown (wrestler)
Leo Burke
Samson Burke
C
Christian Cage
Roy Callender
Don Callis
George Cannon (wrestler)
Édouard Carpentier
Richard Charland
Allen Coage
Carly Colón
Tony Condello
Steve Corino
Cormier wrestling family
Yvon Cormier
John Cozman
Ion Croitoru
Chi Chi Cruz
Jon Cutler (wrestler)
D
Scott D’Amore
Tyrant Eric Dawson
Cody Deaner
Johnny Devine
Paul Diamond
Tye Dillinger
Danny Duggan
Emile Duprée
René Duprée
Yvon Durelle
Tyson Dux
E
Chief Don Eagle
Edge (wrestler)
Edge and Christian
Michael Elgin
Ethan Page
Robert Evans (wrestler)
F
Adam Firestorm
Franky The Mobster
Earl Patrick Freeman
G
Hubert Gallant
Ron Garvin
Terry Garvin
Claude Giroux (wrestler)
George Gordienko
Archie Gouldie
Rene Goulet
Sylvain Grenier
H
Ib Solvang Hansen
Bret Hart
Bruce Hart (wrestler)
Dean Hart
Keith Hart (wrestler)
Owen Hart
Ross Hart
Smith Hart
Stu Hart
Teddy Hart
Shayne Hawke
Gil Hayes
Doug Hepburn
John Hill (wrestler)
Stan Holek
Hangman Hughes
Ricky Hunter
Ron Hutchison
I
Aaron Idol
J
Don Jardine
Chris Jericho
Rocky Johnson
Don Leo Jonathan
Juggernaut (wrestler)
K
Bobby Kay
Rudy Kay
Tyson Kidd
Gene Kiniski
Kelly Kiniski
Nick Kiniski
Ivan Koloff
Killer Kowalski
Dan Kroffat
Killer Karl Krupp
Glenn Kulka
L
Philip Lafon
Frankie Laine (wrestler)
Cowboy Lang
Jos LeDuc
Paul LeDuc (wrestler)
Ski Hi Lee
Pierre Lefebvre
Joe E. Legend
Joe Lightfoot
Little Beaver (wrestler)
Jerry London (wrestler)
Sky Low Low
Bronko Lubich
Lumberjack Pierre
Dr. Luther
Billy Red Lyons
M
Scotty Mac
Duke MacIsaac
Tom Magee
Jinder Mahal
Robert Maillet
Michael Majalahti
Tyler Mane
Santino Marella
Michel Martel
Rick Martel
Frenchy Martin
Pepper Martin (actor)
J.D. Maverick
Earl McCready
Dave McKigney
Tiny Mills
The Missing Link (wrestler)
Geeto Mongol
Moondog King
Angelo Mosca
Skull Murphy
N
Bronko Nagurski
Jim Neidhart
Devon Nicholson
O
Al Oeming
Kenny Omega
Dru Onyx
Kyle O’Reilly
Carl Ouellet
Kevin Owens
P
Tony Parisi (wrestler)
Pat Patterson (wrestler)
Stephen Petitpas
El Phantasmo
Roddy Piper
Player Uno
Lanny Poffo
Luc Poirier
Gilles Poisson
Johnny Powers (wrestler)
Primo (wrestler)
Q
John Quinn (wrestler)
R
Garry Robbins
Yvon Robert
Rockford (wrestler)
Goldie Rogers
Bobby Roode
Armand Rougeau
Jacques Rougeau
Jacques Rougeau Sr.
Jean Rougeau
Raymond Rougeau
Dave Ruhl
S
Hans Schmidt (wrestler)
George Scott (wrestler)
Sandy Scott
Shane Sewell
SeXXXy Eddy
Darryl Sharma
Bobby Sharp
The Sharpe Brothers
Mike Sharpe
Sweet Daddy Siki
Alex Silva (wrestler)
Ruffy Silverstein
The Singh Brothers
Gama Singh
Tiger Ali Singh
Tiger Jeet Singh
Alexis Smirnoff
Davey Boy Smith Jr.
Wavell Starr
Shawn Stasiak
Stan Stasiak
Lincoln Steen
Crazzy Steve
Lance Storm
Stupefied
Billy Suede
Sunny Dhinsa
Bob Sweetan
Freddie Sweetan
T
Jack Taylor (wrestler)
John Tenta
Terrible Ted
Jason the Terrible
Test (wrestler)
Chris Tolos
John Tolos
Al Tomko
Billy Two Rivers
Tarzan Tyler
V
Maurice Vachon
Paul Vachon
Quinson Valentino
Vampiro
Val Venis
Viktor (wrestler)
Kurt Von Hess
The Von Steigers
Waldo Von Erich
W
George Walker (wrestler)
Whipper Billy Watson
Mike Webster (Canadian football)
Biff Wellington
Justin White
Gary Williams (wrestler)
Petey Williams
Pete Wilson (wrestler)
The Wolfman (wrestler)
Y
Eric Young (wrestler)
Z
Sami Zayn
Abe Zvonkin
OMG… Awesome. I hope typed all those out and not cut and pasted… 😉