The Food and Wine Hedonist

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5 Reasons Why I’m Not Going to Watch This Year’s Grammy Awards

The 55th Annual Grammy Awards are on television this Sunday.  Since I’m so music-obsessed, you’d think that I’m going to watch every second of it.  Sure, there are always some great performances and this year’s lineup looks promising – Ed Sheeran, Fun., Mumford & Sons, Justin Timberlake, and Alicia Keys…

 Alicia Keys hot

But every year, there’s a bunch of stuff that downright ticks me off.  So here are the Top 5 reasons I’m not watching them this year.


5 – It’s on network television.  

A couple of years ago, they made the moronic decision to have Lil Wayne perform on the Awards telecast.  It’s not that I don’t like him, it’s just that three-quarters of the song ended up getting bleeped out.  Wiz Khalifa is scheduled to perform and I can’t imagine one of his songs without cursing or drug references.

Even more distressing is the news from E! Online about how the show’s producers have put out a memo detailing a very strict dress code this year.  Part of it reads:

“Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure.”

WHAT?!?  No sideboobs or nipslips?  It’s amazing that, as a country, we’re still that prudish about knockers.

Then again, it’s not like Taylor Swift’s going to do any of that …

 Taylor Swift sexy

4 – Ridiculous Hype

There’s always a ton of hype over something at the show that always ends up being completely overblown.  A few years ago it was Lady Gaga showing up in an egg or something like that.  Last year, they kept on saying, “Coming up, the Nicki Minaj performance everyone’s going to be talking about tomorrow.”

She came on and did “Roman Holiday” which was supposed to get Catholics up in arms.   It just sucked.  If you want to see it, here’s a link.

Nicki Minaj nude

3 – Neil Portnow

He’s the president of the National Acadamy of Recording Arts and Sciences, the people that actually give out the awards.  It’s a huge responsibility and I’m sure he’s done a lot for securing the future of the recording industry.

I just know him as that asshole who comes on and brings the show to a screeching halt by giving his spiel about how illegal downloads are killing the industry.


2 – Snubs

These are the worst.  I realize that awards like these are somewhat subjective and that who I want to win doesn’t always line up with the Academy’s choices.  But every so often, there are some winners that completely defy any semblance of logic.  Here are some classic examples:

– 1992 – Eric Clapton’s slowed-down acoustic version of “Layla” beats out Nirvana’s  “Smells Like Teen Spirit” for Best Rock Song.

– 2000 – Steely Dan’s unlistenable “Two Against Nature” won Top Album over Eminem’s “The Marshall Mathers LP” and Radiohead’s “OK Computer.”

– 1988 – The very first Grammy for Best Heavy Metal performance went to Jethro Tull instead of Metallica.  I don’t  think anyone would ever classify Tull in their heyday as Heavy Metal.  Definitely not in their 1988 over-the-hill version, either.

The big news this year is that Justin Bieber and Psy were NOT nominated in any category.   I know there’s a lot of people who don’t like the Biebs.  But Gangnam Style?

That’s the most viewed YouTube video of all time and was a huge song around the world.  How could this not be acknowledged? Apparently, people think it’s because it’s a novelty like “Macarena” and the Grammy’s are for serious artists.  You know,  ones that will stand the test of time, not silly one-hit wonders.

Really? As if Men at Work, Young MC, or Taste of Honey went on to do anything else?


1 – The Walking Dead is Back

Hell yeah!!!  It’s been way too long of a break for this awesomest of awesome show.  Frankly, even if they magically fixed #2-5 on this list, I’m still watching TWD.

I found this fan video that not only got me even more pumped up for the show, but also makes up for that Radiohead snub.



Which are you going to watch? 

About thefoodandwinehedonist

I don't know everything about the world of food and wine, but I'm not going to let a small detail like that stop me from blogging about it.

21 comments on “5 Reasons Why I’m Not Going to Watch This Year’s Grammy Awards

  1. Peggy Isaacs
    February 8, 2013

    I watch every year – and every year I think, “I’m getting to old for this crap.”

  2. theothers1
    February 8, 2013

    Neither. I don’t like the silliness of the award show and I’m not a zombie fan. I’ll probably watch Pawn Stars or an episode of Downton Abbey.

    That dress code is intense. You can’t show your sides in case there’s side boob? Wow.

  3. The Byronic Man
    February 8, 2013

    See how Darryl & his brother get out of murdering each other for sport vs. Meaningless award for blandness. Hmm… tough call…

    I always have to check myself when people ask, “Are you watching the Grammy’s?” because my immediate reaction it to laugh because of course not! Why would someone watch the Grammys? I forget that people do.

  4. thefoodandwinehedonist
    February 9, 2013

    And the Governor – Rick showdown!

  5. lindsaynhyatt
    February 11, 2013

    It’s literally like you read my mind! I did end up tuning in for about 7 minutes, long enough to catch JT&Jay and catch a glimpse of my girlfriend, B! 😉 Bring on the Oscars!

  6. Go Jules Go
    February 11, 2013

    I just heard about the dress code thing on the radio! I don’t blame you one bit for boycotting.

    When I was a teenager, I got SO into the awards shows. Now they’re pure torture.

    If they had an equivalent awards show for food and wine, would you watch? I can think of a few famous chefs I’d like to see have a wardrove malfunction.

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      February 11, 2013

      I caught the first half hour or so. Fun was great. TaySwift shoulda lip synched.

      Someone else asked if I had any chef man crushes. The closest I could come was Bourdain. Who is malfunction worthy? For me it’s Giada. Oh and maybe Sandra Lee.

  7. winopants
    February 12, 2013

    I want to know who wrote that dress code. It’s so ridiculously faux-British stuffy. If I had went I think I would have worn an outrageous costume just to spite them

  8. Stephen Kelly Creative
    February 12, 2013

    I’d rather have a mentally handicapped bamboo give me root canal than watch the f-ing Grammys.

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This entry was posted on February 8, 2013 by in Music, Television and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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