The Food and Wine Hedonist

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Songs that Should’ve Been Nominated for the 2013 Oscars

I’m getting excited again for the 83rd Annual Acadamy Awards next weekend – Sunday, February 24th to be exact. Last week, I gave my reasons for not wanting to see the Grammys. But the Oscars are better because there’s a lot more tradition and the star power is considerably higher. Music evolves much quicker, so the Grammys have to try harder to stay relevant. And they usually fail miserably. There are also more musicians vying for more awards, so they are always trying to get attention by doing more outlandish things. With the Oscars, on the other hand, the actors are aware of and are more reverent of Hollywood traditions. Sure you may get the occasional flake like Bjork (a musician) trying to be completely outrageous…


…but they end up being universally derided as total idiots so no one dares trying to top them.

Last year, I wanted to do an Oscars post featuring the nominees for Original Song. But, unbelievably, there were only two nominees so I ended up doing songs inspired by different nominated movies. This year, they actually found five songs to nominate and I’m grateful there are enough. Because I have no freaking clue how I’d come up with a song inspired by Zero Dark Thirty.

But there’s a problem with the five nominated songs – they suck. Or at least I assume they’d suck because I haven’t actually listened to some of them. But the frontrunner is Adele, and nothing good can come of that. So I’ve decided to pick out some better songs than the ones that got nominated.


1. “Before My Time” from Chasing Ice

oscars 2013 ice platformlondoncom

OK, what the…. a song from a documentary? It turns out that this is sung by the lovely Scarlett Johansson. I’m a huge fan of hers, but this song is all kinds of awful. It’s hard enough for a documentary to get an audience, especially yet another one about climate change. Maybe they expected this song to drum up interest? That’s a tall order for any song, but I think that this one can do it:

Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” –


2. “Pi’s Lullaby” from Life of Pi

Oof. I was ok with “Jai Ho” from Slumdog Millionaire. But I think we need to institute a 7-year waiting period on songs from India winning the Oscar. “Lullaby” from Nickelback came to mind, but the point of this post is to pick BETTER songs than the nominated ones. So here’s one that I still kinda like:

Shawn Mullins’ “Lullaby” –

nip slip

3. “Suddenly” from Les Miserable

Ok, I loved the movie and this song was pretty damn good. And the movie itself is a musical. How am I going to find something better? I’ll cut my losses and post something worse. You can’t win ‘em all.

Billy Ocean’s “Suddenly” –

Oscar nudity

4. “Everybody Needs a Best Friend” from Ted

I didn’t see this movie. Half the people I’ve talked to who have seen it absolutely loved it and the other half absolutely loathed it. But what’s NOT up for debate is that a big band jazz song sung by Norah Jones is nothing compared to this classic:

War’s “Why Can’t We Be Friends” –


5. “Skyfall” from Skyfall

As I mentioned before, I think I’m the only person on the face of the earth that can’t stand Adele. I suppose it isn’t the worst Bond song ever. I’d have to give that to A-ha’s “The Living Daylights.” But this was easily the best Bond movie ever and it deserves the best Bond song ever. The song I chose was nominated in 1977, but inexplicably got beat out by Debby Boone’s “You Light Up My Life.” I’m fixing that travesty right now.

Carly Simon’s “Nobody Does it Better” –

Adele sex tape

Are you going to watch the Oscars?

Adele aw

Mark your calendars – Wicked awesome guest post next Friday!ards

Mila Kunis sex

About thefoodandwinehedonist

I don't know everything about the world of food and wine, but I'm not going to let a small detail like that stop me from blogging about it.

8 comments on “Songs that Should’ve Been Nominated for the 2013 Oscars

  1. the drunken cyclist
    February 15, 2013

    Any list with Vanilla Ice on it is a great list!

  2. Yinzerella
    February 15, 2013


  3. seasonedwithsarcasm
    February 15, 2013

    I agree. You are the only person I know who can’t stand Adele. Go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done!

  4. seasonedwithsarcasm
    February 19, 2013

    I give you an E for effort! lol

  5. Pingback: A Breakdown of the 2014 Oscar Songs | The Food and Wine Hedonist

  6. Jacelyn
    April 5, 2015

    This interview is the first part in what may become a mini series of recession reports.
    Korn, has a hit on their hands in the song let the guilt go.
    Hay-on-Wye has an annual turnover of over 1 million books.

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This entry was posted on February 15, 2013 by in Music, Television and tagged , , , , , , , .
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