The Food and Wine Hedonist

leave your inhibitions at the door

Do You Use The G-Word?

Ever have one of those weeks where random events occur that, when taken individually, mean absolutely nothing but collectively all come together?  It happened to me this week and it was a real eye-opener for me as a parent and as a blogger.

Last Saturday, Beowulf and I were watching the Final Four games at a bar.  Next to us was a table full of women also enjoying the game.  Using my keen sense of observation, I was able to accurately deduce that a bunch of them were coupled up.   Ok, they were making out and groping two feet away from me.  But my keen sense was a little hampered by several of these 24oz cans of PBR.


hipster beer

Yes, I’m definitely a hipster.


Beowulf asked the hypothetical question of what I’d do if one of my kids came to me one day and said he/she was homosexual.  Without hesitation I said, “absolutely nothing. Except tell them to clean their fricking room and remember to flush the damn toilet.”  See, nothing changes…

Fast forward to Wednesday, I decided to do some DVR cleaning.  I noticed someone had recorded The Ellen Show from a couple weeks ago because it featured Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.

Macklemore-Ryan-Lewis skateandsurffestcom


Macklemore supports marriage  equality

I’m sure whoever did it was hoping to see “Thrift Shop” or “Can’t Hold Us,” two songs that are getting heavy play on the radio and on our iPods.  Instead, they  performed a live version of this song.



Here’s the live performance from Ellen.


Musically, it’s terrific and I’ve already downloaded it.  But his message of support for marriage equality is a game-changer.  There was a couple lines in there that jumped out at me.

If I was gay

I would think hip-hop hates me

Have you read the YouTube comments lately

“Man that’s gay”

Gets dropped on the daily

We’ve become so numb to what we’re saying

Our culture founded from oppression

gay lesbian issues

Then just yesterday The Byronic Man came up with an absolutely KILLER post titled The 5 Situations In Which It Is Acceptable To Say “That’s So Gay”.  If you haven’t followed his blog yet, carve out a few hours of your schedule this weekend for some really entertaining posts from one of the wittiest writers out there.  In this particular post, he pretty much outlines that there are only VERY SPECIFIC cases where you can say that.

It got me thinking about a debate a friend and I had over which of us had the gayest music library.  I won because I had Erasure, Cher, Carly Simon, Scissor Sisters, and George Michael on mine.  It’s got the makings for great post and I know my gay friends would totally be cool with it.  But…. they know me and wouldn’t be offended.  If I were to go through with writing the post, there’s no way to avoid saying “That’s so gay.”  And because there’s a whole interwebz of people who don’t know me that well, I know I’m going to come across as homophobic or insensitive.  Even if I try to put in a disclaimer it would be seen as a cheap ploy.   And it would drag down the post, too – kinda like how having to explain a joke makes it less funny.


Taken individually these events were interesting and certainly thought-provoking,  but I probably would’ve filed them away somewhere in my brain and not given them much thought later.  However when they all come together like that, it’s too hard to ignore.

So what’s it saying to me? Does it mean I need to be more tolerant of homosexuals and support marriage equality.  HAHAHAHA!  I’ve been all over that for YEARS.  But it’s got me thinking about the words I use.  I’ve prided myself on being non-politically correct.  That just about anything was fair game for a good gag and that people would get the joke.   It’s just words, right?  But now I’m seeing that calling something “gay” is just as bad as the N-word and the R-word.  Here’s another line from the Macklemore song:

A word rooted in hate

Yet our genre still ignores it

Gay is synonymous with the lesser

It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion


If I’m totally supportive of marriage equality and am truly fine if one of my kids were homosexual, I’ve gotta stop using that word in a derogatory way.  You with me on this?

political correctness

About thefoodandwinehedonist

I don't know everything about the world of food and wine, but I'm not going to let a small detail like that stop me from blogging about it.

13 comments on “Do You Use The G-Word?

  1. Hyacinth
    April 12, 2013

    Absolutely with you in every way and well said.

  2. Cara Thereon
    April 12, 2013

    A thought provoking post. Something to think about, the words we use.

  3. the drunken cyclist
    April 12, 2013

    I am with you! While we are at it, we need to stop using the word “retarded” for many of the same reasons. Probably more so since those people who are truly “retarded” rarely have a voice to speak to how it makes them feel.

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      April 12, 2013

      Yeah, that’s the R-word. But gotta admit its damn tough after years of thoughtlessly tossing these words around. Hate to admit it, but I grew up in a household, neighborhood, and era where the N-word was part of everyday convos. That was easy to give up after seeing someone come to physical harm for usin it.

  4. ksbeth
    April 12, 2013

    this was a great blog and i could not agree with you more. i think it’s more habit for some people and they use it without thinking much about it, but it’s really good to become more self-aware and see how it might hurt other people.

  5. The Byronic Man
    April 12, 2013

    First off, thanks for the kind words and link.

    Secondly, I’m in a show that starts tonight – tonight, mind you – that’s a series of performers telling stories form their lives. Mine involves, at one point, being in this horrible redneck town, trying to blend in and thinking I’ve finally succeeded then realizing the guy I’m chatting with at the bar is hitting on me.

    I can not, for the life of me, figure out how to include this portion of the story without it sounding – to some degree – like I’m freaked out that he’s hitting on me, as opposed to just feeling like DAMMIT! I thought I was blending in, and I’m even more not than I thought.

    The show’s in 5 hours. I may cut that part.

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      April 12, 2013

      Standup show? Could you go with the angle of sounding freaked out about the guy hitting on you – but explain that your freaked out not because he’s hitting on you, but because you’re not into rednecks or you prefer your men with a little more hair? Maybe there’s a reason I’m not in stand-up….

      • The Byronic Man
        April 13, 2013

        It was more of a “story-telling” show: performers telling stories from their lives, so there wasn’t the obligation to be FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY.

        I went with something similar to what you’re saying: that I didn’t care he as hitting on me, but I was trying so hard to blend in to this redneck community and yet he was comfortable enough to hit on me and wasn’t there a chance – a chance? – that I was some homophobic douchebag who was going to freak out him? Maybe? A chance?

  6. winopants
    April 13, 2013

    Well put, thank you! I have to admit when I was younger I would call things “gay” a lot, not meaning it in that way, but yeah, I started to see how insensitive it was. I have too many gay friends in my life to feel comfortable using that term anymore. “Douche” is my all-purpose, personified insult these days, as it insults no one except douches. And douches have no idea they are douchey

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      April 14, 2013

      lol… yeah, they usually think they’re awesome. And they have no hesitation to say “I’m awesome.”

  7. musingsoftheamusingmuse
    April 13, 2013

    Absolutely! Interesting… I’ve got an idea for a blog post about old TV shows from a Book of Faces conversation… similar, but different.

  8. The Dutchman
    April 15, 2013

    You are succumbing to the PC police.

    In your case, you are not homophobic/anti-gay – occasional use of the word is not meant with ill-intent.

    You are being hippified by Ann Arbor.

  9. Pingback: The Best of 2013 Music Posts | The Food and Wine Hedonist

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This entry was posted on April 12, 2013 by in Music and tagged , , , , , , , .
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