Do You Use The G-Word?
Ever have one of those weeks where random events occur that, when taken individually, mean absolutely nothing but collectively all come together? It happened to me this week and it was a real eye-opener for me as a parent and as a blogger.
Last Saturday, Beowulf and I were watching the Final Four games at a bar. Next to us was a table full of women also enjoying the game. Using my keen sense of observation, I was able to accurately deduce that a bunch of them were coupled up. Ok, they were making out and groping two feet away from me. But my keen sense was a little hampered by several of these 24oz cans of PBR.
hipster beer
Yes, I’m definitely a hipster.
drinks
Beowulf asked the hypothetical question of what I’d do if one of my kids came to me one day and said he/she was homosexual. Without hesitation I said, “absolutely nothing. Except tell them to clean their fricking room and remember to flush the damn toilet.” See, nothing changes…
Fast forward to Wednesday, I decided to do some DVR cleaning. I noticed someone had recorded The Ellen Show from a couple weeks ago because it featured Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.
from skateandsurffest.com
Macklemore supports marriage equality
I’m sure whoever did it was hoping to see “Thrift Shop” or “Can’t Hold Us,” two songs that are getting heavy play on the radio and on our iPods. Instead, they performed a live version of this song.
rap
music
Here’s the live performance from Ellen.
music
Musically, it’s terrific and I’ve already downloaded it. But his message of support for marriage equality is a game-changer. There was a couple lines in there that jumped out at me.
If I was gay
I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately
“Man that’s gay”
Gets dropped on the daily
We’ve become so numb to what we’re saying
Our culture founded from oppression
gay lesbian issues
Then just yesterday The Byronic Man came up with an absolutely KILLER post titled The 5 Situations In Which It Is Acceptable To Say “That’s So Gay”. If you haven’t followed his blog yet, carve out a few hours of your schedule this weekend for some really entertaining posts from one of the wittiest writers out there. In this particular post, he pretty much outlines that there are only VERY SPECIFIC cases where you can say that.
It got me thinking about a debate a friend and I had over which of us had the gayest music library. I won because I had Erasure, Cher, Carly Simon, Scissor Sisters, and George Michael on mine. It’s got the makings for great post and I know my gay friends would totally be cool with it. But…. they know me and wouldn’t be offended. If I were to go through with writing the post, there’s no way to avoid saying “That’s so gay.” And because there’s a whole interwebz of people who don’t know me that well, I know I’m going to come across as homophobic or insensitive. Even if I try to put in a disclaimer it would be seen as a cheap ploy. And it would drag down the post, too – kinda like how having to explain a joke makes it less funny.
language
Taken individually these events were interesting and certainly thought-provoking, but I probably would’ve filed them away somewhere in my brain and not given them much thought later. However when they all come together like that, it’s too hard to ignore.
So what’s it saying to me? Does it mean I need to be more tolerant of homosexuals and support marriage equality. HAHAHAHA! I’ve been all over that for YEARS. But it’s got me thinking about the words I use. I’ve prided myself on being non-politically correct. That just about anything was fair game for a good gag and that people would get the joke. It’s just words, right? But now I’m seeing that calling something “gay” is just as bad as the N-word and the R-word. Here’s another line from the Macklemore song:
A word rooted in hate
Yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion
liberal
If I’m totally supportive of marriage equality and am truly fine if one of my kids were homosexual, I’ve gotta stop using that word in a derogatory way. You with me on this?
political correctness
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13 comments on “Do You Use The G-Word?”
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Absolutely with you in every way and well said.
A thought provoking post. Something to think about, the words we use.
I am with you! While we are at it, we need to stop using the word “retarded” for many of the same reasons. Probably more so since those people who are truly “retarded” rarely have a voice to speak to how it makes them feel.
Yeah, that’s the R-word. But gotta admit its damn tough after years of thoughtlessly tossing these words around. Hate to admit it, but I grew up in a household, neighborhood, and era where the N-word was part of everyday convos. That was easy to give up after seeing someone come to physical harm for usin it.
this was a great blog and i could not agree with you more. i think it’s more habit for some people and they use it without thinking much about it, but it’s really good to become more self-aware and see how it might hurt other people.
First off, thanks for the kind words and link.
Secondly, I’m in a show that starts tonight – tonight, mind you – that’s a series of performers telling stories form their lives. Mine involves, at one point, being in this horrible redneck town, trying to blend in and thinking I’ve finally succeeded then realizing the guy I’m chatting with at the bar is hitting on me.
I can not, for the life of me, figure out how to include this portion of the story without it sounding – to some degree – like I’m freaked out that he’s hitting on me, as opposed to just feeling like DAMMIT! I thought I was blending in, and I’m even more not than I thought.
The show’s in 5 hours. I may cut that part.
Standup show? Could you go with the angle of sounding freaked out about the guy hitting on you – but explain that your freaked out not because he’s hitting on you, but because you’re not into rednecks or you prefer your men with a little more hair? Maybe there’s a reason I’m not in stand-up….
It was more of a “story-telling” show: performers telling stories from their lives, so there wasn’t the obligation to be FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY.
I went with something similar to what you’re saying: that I didn’t care he as hitting on me, but I was trying so hard to blend in to this redneck community and yet he was comfortable enough to hit on me and wasn’t there a chance – a chance? – that I was some homophobic douchebag who was going to freak out him? Maybe? A chance?
Well put, thank you! I have to admit when I was younger I would call things “gay” a lot, not meaning it in that way, but yeah, I started to see how insensitive it was. I have too many gay friends in my life to feel comfortable using that term anymore. “Douche” is my all-purpose, personified insult these days, as it insults no one except douches. And douches have no idea they are douchey
lol… yeah, they usually think they’re awesome. And they have no hesitation to say “I’m awesome.”
Absolutely! Interesting… I’ve got an idea for a blog post about old TV shows from a Book of Faces conversation… similar, but different.
You are succumbing to the PC police.
In your case, you are not homophobic/anti-gay – occasional use of the word is not meant with ill-intent.
You are being hippified by Ann Arbor.
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