leave your inhibitions at the door
I don’t know what the heck happened to the national Do Not Call Registry. This is that service that allows you to enter your phone number on a list that so that you don’t get unwanted telephone calls from telemarketers. I’ve been on there for years and occasionally sign-up again, but I still get the calls.
A lot of them are people running scams, trying to get you to divulge personal information like bank accounts and credit cards. But most are not. I know there are some loopholes in it that allow for non-profit organizations to call and I’m generally polite to real charities and causes. Although the ones for police and fireman organizations are starting to test my patience. I generally am thankful for the jobs they do, but I’m often made to feel like I’m un-American for not supporting them.
But those loopholes also allow for Political Action Committees and other politically-minded groups to ask for donations. They usually are pre-recorded messages making the same outdated, outrageous, unfounded claims about the other party. A while ago I posted The Republican Party Can Thank Me Later. This is where I played along with one and pledged $800 Million to one of the biggest jackasses in modern US politics.
That was fun and I’ve done it a few more times since then. I just got one from a complete scammer and had some fun with him. I think I’m going to post more of these –
Me – Hello?
Scammer – Hello, may I speak to “Mrs. Hedonist?”
Me – Um, who is this?
Scammer – I’m calling to inform you that she is eligible for a $9000 US government grant that you never have to pay back.
His strong foreign accent and broken English raised red flags immediately. Oh, and the fact that getting cash is NEVER that easy.
Me – Really?
Scammer – Yes, let me verify your address… blah blah blah.
“Blah Blah Blah” wasn’t actually the address he gave but, then again, the one he gave wasn’t anywhere near me.
Me – Sorry, that’s not right. It’s 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC.
For those of you non-Americans, that’s the White House.
Then again, it’s probably helpful for many of you Americans as we’re pretty bad with geography. Anyway, after spelling “Pennsylvania” for him, it continued –
Scammer – There are three options to get the money. First is a Western Union trans-
Me – Nope. I want cash. US cash.
Scammer – Pardon me?
Me – I want it in $10 bills.
Scammer – No, it’s not just $10. It’s 9000, and you never have to pay it back.
Me – In that case, I want it in one-dollar bills. 9000 of them. In one of those aluminum suitcases.
Scammer – Ok, let me give you the contact information for my supervisor, who will make the arrangements. Your confirmation number is K3858 and his name is Henry Foster. He can be reached at (202) 657-4835.
Me – Thank you! Who do you think is going to win the NBA Championship?
Scammer – Ok, goodbye.
Obviously, I’m not going to call because he refused to give me his prediction.
I Googled the number and found all kinds of forums where people actually called. The scammers were asking for people to wire money over to pay for check-mailing expenses. I shook my head in disbelief that people still fall for this crap. But then I remembered that this is a big country full of complete rubes.
Thus there will always be people doing this kind of scam. And I’ll be here, teaching them a lesson. One call at a time.
Have you received a similar call? Any ideas for how else I can scam them – fake names, other landmarks?
Is this real? If it is, Boom Boom’s going to be pissed that I lost out on her $9000.