leave your inhibitions at the door
It seems a lot of people are getting their music these days from internet-based music services like Spotify, Rhapsody, iTunes Radio, etc. And it looks like satellite radio is still going strong as well. I haven’t made the switch to either method yet but, when I do, you can rest assured that I’m going to be a major player in the industry.
Why? Because yours truly happens to be THE kingmaker on regular radio. Lemme ‘splain…
On the morning of December 13th, I posted this to my personal Facebook page
For past few weeks, construction workers in the house have a radio playing and switch off between classic rock station and the “we play everything” station. It’s discouraging that, as a society, there is still a market for radio stations that play Pat Benatar, Bob Seger, Boston, and Bad Company 20x a day.
You know what I mean by those “we play anything” stations, right? They started sprouting up about ten years ago and every city has one. It’s usually called some generic guy’s name like “Jack,” “Phil,” or “Bob.” In the Detroit area it was called “Doug FM” and had a super-annoying, smarmy voiceover guy saying “Doug FM, we play everything.”
And at quick-glance, they do play everything. In addition to who I mentioned in my status update, they’d throw in acts like Aerosmith, Neil Diamond, Ace of Base, Hootie & The Blowfish, and Billy Ray Cyrus. Pretty diverse, yes, but not everything. Not that I would want to hear any of it, but they never played any classical, jazz, or Gregorian chants. No showtunes. No Tibetan Monk chants, either. Oh – and zero rap and hip-hop.
That very night, I was driving around, flipping through channels. I kept Doug on one of the presets because every once in a while there’d be something I was in the mood for. I was expecting some tired, old Journey song but this time around it was a Christmas song. Now, I can only take Christmas songs on the radio in small doses, but I stayed til the end because I’d never heard this one. I don’t recall what the song or who the artist was, but I can say I didn’t like it. But curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to find out what it was.
When it was finally over, the name of the song wasn’t announced. But the station’s new tagline was
Nash-FM, Detroit’s new home for country-assed shit that John will never listen to.
Or something like that.
So some time that day, the radio station executives came across my status update and said, “This guy’s brilliant. We gotta change formats. And he’s damn handsome.”
Unfortunately, I didn’t mention what they should switch to. Because country would’ve come a couple spots behind Epic Doom Metal and Kyrgyzstan horse-milking songs.
But still ahead of jazz…
Thankfully, the construction guys aren’t into country so there are some songs I won’t be subjected to for a while. They aren’t necessarily bad and I don’t necessarily hate them like Innocent Miseries. They’re just woefully overplayed.
I think I’ll call these “Songs That Should be Locked up for the Next 25 Years.”
Bob Seger’s Old Time Rock and Roll
The B-52’s Love Shack
Eric Clapton’s Tears in Heaven – (Which was mentioned by both Yinzerella and Max on my Innocent Miseries? post.)
Do you have any songs you’d like to see put away for a long time?