The Food and Wine Hedonist

leave your inhibitions at the door

My 2014 Grammy Predictions

The Grammy Awards are this Sunday and this time I may actually watch.  Last year, I gave 5 Reasons not to watch and most of them still apply.  It’s going to be over-hyped, there will be flagrant snubs, and there probably won’t be any accidental nudity by Katy Perry.

katy-perry-hot

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Darn.

But I probably will end up watching, simply because #1 from last year isn’t going to happen – there’s no conflict with the season premiere of The Walking Dead.

So what the hell, how about some predictions, eh?

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5. Two of the biggest songs of the year – Get Lucky and Blurred Lines – are nominated for Record of the Year.  They are going to split the vote leaving it wide open for Lorde’s Royals and Bruno Mars’ Locked Out of Heaven.

Prediction: Lorde.  Voters will realize that Bruno’s song came out 15 YEARS AGO and vote for Lorde.  Plus voting for Royals will make them seem hip for it’s message of disavowing all the trappings of fame and wealth.  Oh, did I mention that the voters are performers and musicians and music industry people who have all that fame and wealth? Chumps.

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4.  But it’s OK, don’t feel bad for Daft Punk or Thicke.  Every year they tack on all kinds of niche awards so they can make like little league baseball or kindergarten – no one loses and everybody gets to go home with a prize. I wish they’d just go ahead and have Barney pass out awards.

2014 Grammys Barney rapgeniuscom

rapgenius.com

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Ok, THAT would be kinda cool to see.

Prediction – Daft Punk will go home with best Dance album and Blurred Lines will go home with Best Collaboration between some honky and two really cool black guys with the best video ever:

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No, not that one .  That’s the censored version.  Here’s the one with boobies.

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3.  Neil Portnow is still going to bring things to a screeching halt.

entmoney.com

entmoney.com

He’s that president of the National Acadamy of Recording Arts and Sciences who is insanely jealous of all the cool kids in class like Pharrell Williams and The Biebs so he hijacks the ceremony so he can say nyah nyah nyah I can talk as long as I want and not have the orchestra start playing to get me off the stage but they won’t because I own them.  Yeah, that guy.  Except he doesn’t whine about digital downloads any more because that train’s left the station.  He’ll probably talk about saving music education or the panda bears.

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2. When Daft Punk wins, they will have to go up on stage and talk.  And to do that, they’ll have to remove their helmets.

daft punk musicallycom

musically.com

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And it will look like this –

jeditemplearchives.com

jeditemplearchives.com

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1.  At exactly 9pm Eastern time, the screen will momentarily go black.  Because that’s when Boom Boom and The Pieholes switch the TV to Downton Abbey.

downton pinterest

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Will you be watching?

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About thefoodandwinehedonist

I don't know everything about the world of food and wine, but I'm not going to let a small detail like that stop me from blogging about it.

6 comments on “My 2014 Grammy Predictions

  1. barnarddonna
    January 24, 2014

    Grammy’s come and go….Downton Abbey for me please.

  2. Peggy Isaacs
    January 24, 2014

    I watch every year…and every year I swear I won’t do it again.

  3. Go Jules Go
    January 24, 2014

    I’m trying to say something more relevant, but all I can think is: That ‘bitch please’ meme just made my morning. Thank you.

  4. PinotNinja
    January 28, 2014

    You know what my favorite part was? That somehow Beyonce and Jay-Z had crystal snifters of cognac in their hands while they sat in the front row.

    If that doesn’t signify that they are royalty, I don’t know what does.

    • thefoodandwinehedonist
      January 28, 2014

      I made another prediction during the show – that the camera would cut to Taylor Swift dancing awkwardly. She needs to watch Jay and Yonce. THATS how you attend an awards show.

  5. Pingback: My Can’t Fail 2015 Grammy Award Predictions | The Food and Wine Hedonist

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This entry was posted on January 24, 2014 by in Music, Television and tagged , , , , .
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