Scamming the Scammers 2: La Versión Española
It’s time for more fun with telemarketers! Unfortunately, the Do Not Call Registry doesn’t cover everything and there are enough idiots who give money to strangers so there will always be cold-callers. Since I can’t stop them, I’m going to punish them. One at a time. The first one chronicled here was for some supposedly free grant money.
Here’s the next…
***
Since the Philippines was a Spanish colony for a couple hundred years, many of the people from there have Spanish last names. I’m one of them. Every once in while we get a break from the usual siding and roof salesmen and Fraternal Order of Police charity calls and receive one where the company assumes that we’re Latino. Usually the calls end when we kindly inform them that we don’t speak a lick of Spanish.
Here’s a recent one –
Me: Hello
Caller: Hola! Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, deep breath, Spanish, Spanish, Spanish
Me: I’m sorry I don’t speak Spanish
Caller: Spanish, Spanish, Spanish. Question mark.
Since I have no idea what she was trying to pitch, I don’t really know if it was a scam or political message. But since she ignored my rare instance of being polite and kept going, I’d have to assume she was both.
Me: Si!!!
Caller: (Getting excited) Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Spanish
At this point, I decided to whip out my go-to Spanish phrase –
Me: Donde esta casa de Pepe?
Which translates to “Where is Pepe’s House?” Who’s Pepe? Who cares?!?!
Caller: Que? Spanish, Spanish, Spanish.
Me: (Louder) Donde esta casa de Pepe?
Caller: Que? Spanish, Spanish, Spanish.
Me: (Louder and slower) Donde esta casa de Pepe?
*
Click..
My kids witnessed the whole thing and were cracking up. Sure it may not have been the best life lesson for them. And maybe I’m raising a new batch of assholes, but it was some good bonding time.
*
*
*
About thefoodandwinehedonist
7 comments on “Scamming the Scammers 2: La Versión Española”
Leave a Reply to thewineraconteur Cancel reply
wine century
Doppel Member, Baby!
Donde esta el vino?
en mi vientre. I luv my translation app…
Soiteny
Maybe keep a dictionary near the phone and just string random words together…
Or actually learn Spanish? … NAH!!
I speak “kitchen Spanish” from my years working in restaurants.
I can articulate some pretty unsavory things.
hehehe
A method telemarketers were using for awhile was to call and ask for some random person, and if I would tell them they had the wrong number, they would say, “Oh maybe you can help me,” and then launch into whatever their marketing spiel was. I think this may have been some sort of loophole around the “No Call List” or something, because I got them a lot for awhile. Once I caught on, instead of saying they had the wrong number, I would say “Hold on, I’ll go get him” and then just set the phone back down and continue watching tv until they eventually hung up. It always made me happy. (It’s the little things.)