I Had a DeLorean
A couple days ago was October 21, 2015. For many people, it was a momentous, historic day. Social media were abuzz with videos, memes, and tributes to that special day. Office workers were gathering in cubicles and break rooms waxing nostalgic on where they were back in 1989. All of these celebrations were because 10/21/2015 was Back to the Future Day – the date in time Marty and Doc Brown traveled to in the Back to the Future II.
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For most of you, it was Wednesday. For me, it was a painful reminder.
I think we’re getting a little ridiculous with all these “holidays” popping up. There’s Cabernet Day (Thursday before Labor Day), Popcorn Day (January 19th), Cheesecake Day (July 30th) and Hot Dog Day (July 23rd). Here’s how bad it’s gotten – October 7th was Seitan Day. Yes, a fake holiday for a fake food.
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People eat Wheat Meat? Oof…
And we’re actually celebrating something from Back to the Future II? A horrible sequel that was only eclipsed by the wretchedness that was Back to the Future III?
The ride-sharing service Lyft got into the spirit by offering rides in a DeLorean on that day. Which is why that day was so painful for me –
I had a DeLorean. I don’t say that I was a proud owner of one, because I wasn’t. Sure it was super cool at first, but after a while it sucked major ass.
My pops bought it brand new in 1982 when it THE cool car to own. We used to get all kinds of oohs and aahs as we drove down the street. Although part of that was because there was another owner of Delorean in our town – Tommy Shaw from Styx –
Imagine the disappointment when people were expecting to see the rock star and a couple swarthy Filipinos got out of the car.
When I got my license I got to drive it around for a year, looking super awesome. I got ZERO chicks from it, but I figured it was only a matter of time. But then the first Back to the Future came out. At that point I went from driving an awesome, rare, European sports car to a laughable movie prop. Everyone was looking at the “Back to the Future Car” asking if there’s a flux capacitor or if Doc Brown knew I borrowed it. I was done with it.
When my father passed away in 1993, I inherited the car. We were a few years removed from the movies, but the comments were still very frequent. Then came the nightmare of DeLorean ownership.
Do you know why there haven’t been that many new car companies out there? Because it’s HARD and takes a lot of money. So when John DeLorean started the company, the only way he could do it was to call up all the other companies looking for their excess parts and then Frankenstein-ing the thing together. And if you’re one of those other companies, you’re not going to give the best stuff to a potential competitor. So, over time, I’ve had to replace the following –
- Front discs from Alfa Romeo
- Back discs from Rolls Royce
- Brake parts from Chevrolet
- Fuel inertia switch from Jaguar
- TWO fuel pumps from Volvo
- An air conditioner unit also from Volvo
- A few batteries
- Water pump and radiator
- A set of tires
- Alternator
- And about two dozen more bullet points of miscellaneous switches, cables, and body parts
I held onto the car until 2010, but in the 15 years I had it we pumped in about three times more than the car was worth. And this was a car that under 12,000 miles on it.
And did you notice that the speedometer (which we also had to fix) only goes up to 85mph? That’s 3.8 mph shy of the 88.8mpg needed to engage the flux capacitor. Not that the car could get up to that speed.
I finally sold it on eBay for a whopping $10k to some guy in Kentucky. He had loved DeLoreans for decades and got a motorcycle injury settlement and could finally buy one. Ours was one of the few with an automatic transmission, which was necessary because his wife couldn’t drive a stick shift. Which was important since that motorcycle injury left him unable to drive. Yes you read that right – HE CAN’T EVEN DRIVE IT!
So my old car belongs to some redneck who gets schlepped around the hills of Kentucky by his wife.
It seems obvious that I add the video for “Power of Love,” the Huey Lewis song used in the first Back to the Future. But I already did that when I posted about his big penis.
Since it was John DeLorean’s bargain shopping for parts long ago that left me with that mess, it seems appropriate that I present this video featuring the car.
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3 comments on “I Had a DeLorean”
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wine century
Doppel Member, Baby!
Among my circles of friends, the fact that the DeLorean was in Back to the Future would have increased its cool factor, not destroyed it. You were clearly hanging out with the wrong people.
As for the 85mph limit of the speedometer, that was a US government mandate at the time; it came along with the 55mph speed limit. Eventually both went away.
Yes, I remember that mandate. But the car was VERY heavy and the engine only put out 110 horsepower.
Funny!