The Food and Wine Hedonist

leave your inhibitions at the door

Oliver’s Brother’s Pizza Monster

My good friend and fellow Ann Arbor blogger Oliver aka “The Winegetter” was over at our house for dinner one night.    He hails from Germany and, since Boom Boom’s parents are off-the-boat Germans as well, we often have lively discussions about some of the mild quirks of the Teutonic race.   And by “lively discussions” and “mild quirks” I mean me pointing out what I find to be absolutely hilarious about them and Oliver being a great sport about it.    Topics have included –

– My happiness that the German Dancing gene has not expressed itself in my offspring
– How, no matter where you travel in the world, there will always be a naked German in the hot tub or sauna
– Their inexplicable love for the musical stylings of David Hasselhoff


But we have also marveled at how the Germans are geniuses of innovation and engineering. That mastery doesn’t always translate to the culinary world, but he turned me onto a creation that completely blew my mind. His brother isn’t normally what one would label a gourmand but, then again, Sigfried and Roy weren’t nuclear physicists. And look how they turned out!!

OK, maybe not the best example.

It isn’t very often that I hear about a recipe, say “I HAVE to make this”, and actually do it.    But this was so awesome that I made it a few days later.   (But not THAT awesome that I didn’t wait a few months to actually post about it.)
So, without any further ado, I present to you…


Oliver’s Brother’s Pizza Monster


pizza monster cooked

It consists of three frozen pizzas layered together with ground beef and heavy cream to form some sort of Frankenstein lasagna from hell.   I came up with the name myself, but I’m open to suggestions.  He didn’t have any exact measurements, but geniuses can’t be bothered with that shit.  The point is the overall concept, it’s up to us mere mortals to hammer out the details.
Ideally, this would be made in a casserole of some kind, but I didn’t have anything that would fit this. A lot of the cream and cheese came oozing out the sides, but it was still pretty good.


– Three frozen pizzas
– 2 lbs ground beef
– a shit ton of mozzarella
– heavy whipping cream

1 – Preheat oven to whatever the pizza instructions say
2 – Brown and crumble the ground beef.

pizza monster beef
3 – Spread the ground beef over a pizza, sprinkle with mozzarella, and pour some cream on it

pizza monster assemble
4 – Place another pizza on top off that one and repeat
5 – Place the last pizza upside-down on the others and sprinkle with cheese

pizza monster done
6 – Bake until heated through- probably somewhere around 165 degrees

pizza monster served



Heart attack on a platter? Perhaps. Delicious? Yup.



About thefoodandwinehedonist

I don't know everything about the world of food and wine, but I'm not going to let a small detail like that stop me from blogging about it.

12 comments on “Oliver’s Brother’s Pizza Monster

  1. ksbeth
    July 12, 2016

    fabulous frankenstein pizza

  2. The Dutchman
    July 12, 2016

    So simple, yet brilliant.

  3. the winegetter
    July 12, 2016

    This looks SO verboten! Wow. I had never seen it when I described it to you, but now I want one, too!! I’d probably have used frozen pizza that has some toppings on it already, to add to the depth of flavor, but man, this looks great!!! 🙂

  4. thewineraconteur
    July 12, 2016

    Where is the wine to go with this culinary dish?

  5. anotherfoodieblogger
    July 12, 2016

    Insanity at it’s finest! LOL.

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This entry was posted on July 12, 2016 by in Cooking and tagged , , , , , .
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